I am a girl and I am a Koala

It’s an odd word isn’t it.. the word ‘needy’. When I first say it out loud, it reminds me of an ex-boyfriend from university. He once called me ‘needy’ it because I phoned him before I went to bed. We broke up after that. It seemed that he was already in sed-bed with someone else. So I suppose I wasn’t being ‘needy’ at all, it was my heart’s way of saying… be careful. How right you were heart.

The verb ‘to need’ directly translates as: to require (something) because it is essential or very important rather than just desirable.  So to be needy is needing emotional support; insecure. Doesn’t that therefore make everyone “needy”? When did it suddenly become a man’s place to accuse us girls that just wanting something we absolutely deserve, is an emotional flaw?

If any of you have read The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman, you will know that language and the way in which we say things is paramount in a relationship. Communication. How we type something or say it in person are totally different languages. And so often have I found myself lost in translation over the new methods in which we communicate. Because, actually, the way we contact each other these days isn’t really communication at all. There is no passion behind an instant message. We don’t take the time to really talk to one another.

At the beginning of this year I made an executive decision to turn off all my notifications on my phone. No more Instagram likes, Facebook requests, WhatsApp pings. I cannot tell you how refreshing it was. Well, it was until I upgraded my new phone and I now haven’t got around to turning them back off again. See, I just excused myself for not sticking to something that I know makes a difference. Shame on you Zara.

I rely on my phone too much. I rely on contact too much. My new nickname is Koala. I would like to think it is not because I need constant attention, but more that I make a rather good companion who also happens to be a pretty fantastic hugger…..

So if you message me, that makes you needy to. Perhaps it is the niceness of knowing that someone, somewhere enjoys you as much as you enjoy them. Perhaps it is because I am still working out what makes me, me. But right now, Koala or otherwise, I am willing to see if I need anyone.




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